Ruby Franke’s idea of consequences
Consequences should encourage responsibility. In recent events, Ruby Franke was arrested for child abuse. Her idea of supporting responsibility in her children was to remove their basic need of food. Perhaps she went without eating and dieted because adults can do that sometimes for interval fasting. However, a child who is growing and moving and playing needs food and adequate nourishment to thrive in everyday life. Her idea of consequences were skewed.
Looking at a child with autism, consequences must always match the behavior and never harm any child. I am not against consequences, but they should never harm or hurt the child. Actually, they should teach the child what correct behavior looks like.
So, my child has autism, and he is now eleven. It has been a long time since I have posted. But, my child also has medical issues and that has been my main priority. Danny still exhibits outbursts on occasion.
So, if he is frustrated he will stomp away or knock something over. First step: Identify the wrong by asking the child what was wrong in their reaction. Second step: Identify their feelings, and the child should identify their feelings. Third step: What should of happened to handle their emotions. What is a better direction to take to listen and act on their emotions.
A child who can self-regulate is a healthy child. A child who can’t self regulate is often overly stimulated and not being directed by the adult but instead it becomes a power struggle; in the case of #RubyFranke she took over their lives to the point where she was the dictator and no longer a parent who guides but hurts.
Withdrawing things instead of working together to correct behavior is not the way to go in building long term relationships with your child. If the behavior is forming a pattern and is worse than the week before, cutting down time on favorite leisure activities would be a better option than harsh punishments. Also rewarding appropriate behavior and praise goes a long way!! This also works for children with autism.
My son can sometimes become jealous. He feels left out at school. So, when he hears someone else being praised he feels excluded immediately. Even though he isn’t being excluded that is how he interrupts praise for someone else. So aggressive behaviors can arise from that. So, making a point to praise your child at least 3 times a day for something they are caring for, being empathetic, or taking initiative. My son doesn’t usually join in household activities like cleaning his room or making his bed. But, when I praise him for getting me some water or asking me how my day is going, he immediately is more receptive and changes his attitude. Keep it simple with praise and noticing your child. Ignoring your child is not praising your child.
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Mom's Guide to the Autistic Universe 