The Social Challenges of Autism: Background
When you think of autism, what comes to your mind? Autism, by definition, is a neurological disorder that influences communication, cognition, motor skills, and social interactions. My son Danny has been in ABA (applied behavioral analysis) therapy for years.
Autism Face Forward
As a parent, I have tried to use ABA techniques with Danny. But, I also use a parenting style that is all my own. My reality is autism. But, it isn’t the end all to all circumstances. My son is verbal, but can’t always communicate in a way that shows me what he is feeling out in public. He will unpredictably react sometimes-like putting his fingers in his ears if too many noises are bombarding him or cry hysterically if he is threatened. The sounds of voices and splashing water can threaten Danny’s senses.
Differences
What makes my world with my son different than any other is that for my son, personally, which may not be a choice for everyone, he is on no medications (use nutritional support for Danny neurologically-will be discussed in a later post), and I use prompting engagement in situations where he feels threatened: no gadgets, treats, or external rewards are used. These things that are used, when he needs to complete a task, are praise and celebration as rewards.
The Initial Reaction: Step 1
A situation arose that ignited my son’s emotions. Imagine going to a water park that had a slide, splash pad, and lazy river. Now, my son has been showing tremendous strides towards water in accepting it touching him and interacting with water. So, I thought this would be so much fun for him. However, the other scary reaction occurred which shocked me at first. I guess it shouldn’t have because with autism is unpredictability. As I am trying to help my jellyfish (Danny) to navigate through the autism universe, I first saw my son have a meltdown. He screamed, ran away from the water not even putting his foot in the spray taps, and said “I go home.” I didn’t say anything but process and lead him back to a chair nearby. I had my other two children with me -five year old son and daughter who is eight. I am the only adult with them. I thought I could navigate through this adventure today and have some fun. I am used to going it alone with my husband living away in the army.
Navigating the Waters-Encourage Step 2
My other two children begged not to go home. I said to them it’s ok let’s just give Danny some time, and I directed my other two kids to play nearby in the spray park. I looked at Danny head on and said if we go home we cannot come back, and I know you love the spray park. “Look how much fun the water is! Everyone is playing; it’s so much fun Danny.” I stood up with Danny and took him by the hand. As soon as we got the edge of the shallow water he screamed and ran back to his chair.
Navigating the Environment Step 3
Danny plugged his ears. The noise must have been excruciating for his brain to process. Then, I realized it was the noise in combination with the water that scared him. Autism doesn’t allow for sensory information to be processed properly.
So, I communicated that you are a big boy who can have fun too. Let us try together- just try one time. “If you don’t like the water here, we will sit back down.” So, I said in a big voice of praise “Danny, let’s walk in together.” He whined a little then said “I am scared.”
Visual Picture Step 4
I feel it is important to give Danny a visual picture when he is scared that will squash that feeling. I said look at your feet, you are touching the bottom and I can see your toes. See, you are not sinking. This is fun. Danny had a glimmer of a smile, flash across his face. Then I knew we just conquered something small but big enough for Danny to have fun today.
Mom's Guide to the Autistic Universe 